What I did Today

Yawwwwn, I thought I would tell you what I did today...
5:30am. Jump up on Mom and Dad's bed to sleep
7:30am: adjust position
7:45: watch the weather channel on TV
8:00: Leap out of bed cuz Mommee is UP!! Get real excited! Sit on her feet while she brushes teeth and pant loudly! Get Lucy excited! Yes, we are going TO THE BEACH !!!! AT LAST!!!!! HOORAY!!!
8:15: Find my ball, wait "patiently" outside for Mom and Lucy to emerge, race downstairs knocking over stupid flower pot, put my head through leash....
8:20am: FREEDOM!! I'm so happy! I poop and then look for my new bunny friend...hmmm, can't find him. Beach access is full of ponds and lakes from 3" of rain yesterday, maybe I'll see him later (Lucy wants to kill him)
8:22 to 8:42: Run, Fetch, Run, Fetch, Run, Fetch, see Papa and get treat, Run, Fetch..etc...
8:43: headidng home....sad.....put my head in leash after sniffing garbage...
8:44; get hosed off under house then dried. That feels good. 8:45:01 to 8:48:03 Eat Breakfast. Yummy!!! I think I'm getting sleepy now....
9:15am: Mom and John leave the house. Suddenly, Aliens arrive and force me upon the couch and make me go to sleep there. I don't remember much from here on out...somehow I am forced from couch to chair in family room and then to the living room. It's rather hazy.....Zzzzzzzz
3:40pm. I hear a car and jump off the couch ready to protect my fortress, oh, it's only John, then
Mom who scolds me for the mess in the house. Really!! She just doesn't trust me, it's so unfair!
She puts my nose in some pee the Aliens did. It wasn't me!! I dive under the bed and won't come out.
4:15pm; Mom and John decide to go to Grandma and Papa's house to play bridge and TAKE ME!! SWEET!! Yummy cat food there and other treats! I protect the house and play with Blackie while they play cards. While protecting my family, I dive under table and accidentally make Mom kick Grandma. OOps... 7:30pm: Back home now and greeting band members for practice tonight. 8:15pm: Trying to sing along with the band but Dad kicks me out because they are recording..can't a guy get a break?? Really, I have a much better voice....Humph!
8:30:05 to 8:30:06 pm DINNER AT LAST. I almost DIED of starvation 8:30:07 watch Lucy break record for the slowest consumption of dinner EVER. Lick her bowl for good measure when she wanders away..8:40pm: not much to do, naptime 10:30: get up to go pee outside and sniff the perimeter of the yard. Things look okay for the night, but you never know... 10:45 Night Night, I'm heading under the bed because Lucy is hogging the dog bed. Tomorrow I get to go to the BEACH!!!! I can't wait, yeah yeah yeah!! Zzzzzzzz